Have you ever reached a crisis point in your marriage; hopelessly wondering if restoration was even possible or worth it?
Perhaps you’ve asked yourself – what happened? Two people came together in the name of love, making a covenant before God and family, only to now be spending more time in conflict than close connection.
Unfortunately, this is more of a commonality in marriages today than ever.
So where can you go when you feel like you’re at odds with your spouse? …When you believe that hope has been lost?
Back to foundation of why God brought you together, that’s where!
I believe that God brings people together with the intention for both to be stretched and to grow into the individuals that He desires them to become. I also believe that he uses the conflict areas in our marriage as a mirror to show us ‘growth opportunities’ we can step into (Romans 3:3-5).
Unfortunately, as a counselor, I’ve witnessed couples take an “exit” one or two stops shy of a breakthrough. Simply because things got difficult. This is the spot Stephanie and I are passionate about coaching you and your spouse through…to stay on the road to your marriage breakthrough!
You see, Stephanie and I were at this point early in our marriage – ready to throw in the towel on each other and our marriage. The first four years were difficult. And, quite honestly, there were many times we were close to quitting. It was painful.
If it weren’t for mentors, other healthy couples, counselors, and pastors coming alongside us to speak truth into our lives…well, the story would be much different today. Had we not discovered God’s desire to use our struggles for good; to shape our character and hearts to become more like Him in the process of persevering, we would have missed it. Missed the JOY and HOPE we experience today, almost a decade later.
With that said, marriage growth didn’t just happen for us, we HAD to be INTENTIONAL with seeking the help around us. The only way a marriage can grow is to step into growth opportunities, which usually present themselves as conflicts. This required us to both look into the mirror and recognize who we were in Christ before we could offer that to each other.
We created The Intentional Marriage, to guide you through understanding who you are individually in Christ, so you can come together and create a dynamic marriage that reflects God’s true intention for marriage.
In the journey of marriage, the process taking place is much greater than any one of us individually. Scripture tells us that it is a “profound mystery” (Ephesians 5:32 NIV) of how marriage works. Scripture also tells us marriage is a direct reflection of how Christ treats His church (the people). What a great plan of action and goal for us to press toward in our own marriage!
31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[a] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (Ephesians 5:31-33 NIV)
I’m so glad that Stephanie and I didn’t quit on ourselves or on each other over 10 years ago. We tell people all the time that we are still a work in progress and God has allowed us to learn from our mistakes and then pass on the practical application to others to empower and equip their marriage.
Since our first date in January of 2002, Stephanie and I have been called to helping couples succeed in marriage. Our prayer is that couples would find a RESTORED HOPE as they attend one of our weekend conferences or as you participate in our online course called “Building Marriages to Last.” We specifically designed “Building Marriages to Last” as a foundation for couples to build upon. The course covers topics such as:
- Establishing Connection with Your Spouse
- The Power of the Past
- The Power of Forgiveness
- What are These Feelings and Where Do They Come From
- The Power of the Tongue
- Charting a Course for Your Marriage
Our encouragement to you is to step into the growth opportunity in front of you and embrace the journey that is yours to embrace. You don’t have to settle for average in your marriage. With God at the center, you can have a THRIVING marriage!
Bryan & Stephanie
P.S. What intentional act of kindness
can you do for your spouse today?
How about for the next 30+ days?